An Unfairly Tales

When I was child, my futures and what should I do there always come in to my consideration. I thought, it was a regular school attending, six day a week, from seven to twelve. And when I've been completing this regular task of elementary school, I'd come in to junior and senior high school in which spent six years class attending likes SD. Afterward, I'd go to university, taking subject about five years regular class. It's differed from elementary and high school experiences, but the form was same. You came in to the class, learned something there and back to home. This was what we said as a platform to prepare for the future, make your live wonderful and prosperous.

My mind then chasing, what should I do after finishing my college? I'd go work surely. I'd go from eight to five daily, five day a week, having wages so I can buy a house, transportation, watching TV, playing video games or going to vacation. Meanwhile, as I grew older, I'd getting married with someone. A beautiful lady, a gorgeous girl, making wonderful live day by day, and I'd baby. Raising a brand new family, kids, neighborhood, a new cycle begins, as we're getting older, live in an old manor house. Kids then has their own life likes we were. Separate to make their own family, and finally live again like before. Alone, like we felt lonely. Elderly was a time for reflection before we pass away.

Just like that? Was everything runs automatically in sequences? Likes if you're finishing SD, you'd go to junior high school, or when you works you'd getting married? Wow, the reality was different. I never go to junior high school, I was going to Pondok. The college I've learned in never to attend daily, and for three years work, I still can't have a house! Even I work harder, I never have my dream house with my current jobs. Life wasn't like a fairy tale. It almost like an unfairly tales, with unresolved happy endings. Or, does it has no ends at all?

Sometimes I consider this megalomaniac kind of life. I'd be a great ruler, a Cesar. Having a vast land of kingdoms, stretching from Asia across Europe, conquest many nations, and my name written in golden ink over historians book shelves. Ok, it doesn't make sense. But, consider the great tycoon I wannabe. Having tons of factory, worker, living up much poor family, donated a sum large of money to humanitarians programs, life in modest and serenity. Huh, looks like a prince Buddha, and I myself was'nt a richman nor the happy one. And a woman in my eyes never come into a complete form of one. It just shadow in dark night or film noir. Only repetition of a face tryin' to touch and wonderful to hold. The story runs, but I do still never knew where will I go.

The life purposes I've built at beginning of year, I do still have no faith in it. If so, how do I run it? Empty and hollow. Is this an adult crisis? What a wonderful if I knew it since I was kid, years before I grew up and facing it blatantly. Is thera a God? If so, why doesn't He help me? Or, maybe He only a fairy tale too, told to child? But, you know, there was'nt a fairy tales, it only an unfairly tales, never to told. Unless you're an adult, and knew what should you do. And I don't.